My sheets look like a crime scene.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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