I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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