pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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