We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
