i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
