I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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