ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
