i jhust puked up my retainher.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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