So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
