I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
