I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
