She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My life is pants optional.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize