ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I licked your asshole in confidence.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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