No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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