btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
