he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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