There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Screwed.edu
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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