omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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