How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
