Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
