i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
