dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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