I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
