Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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