I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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