can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
His hands were made for my vagina.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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