its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
