Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
