Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
