Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
