hell yes lets make some ravioli
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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