He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Randomize
