Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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