I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
