I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
