You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
