And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
