drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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