why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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