Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
