we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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