okay pat passed out under dana's car
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
