She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
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