I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
