I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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