She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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