She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
