dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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