Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize