I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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