craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you didnt know i had herpes?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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