I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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