Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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