Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
