After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
