I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
