How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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