Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We talked him into tasing himself.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
