I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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