the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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