I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
