Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
