i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
