I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
